the sling diaries vol. iv ‘everything shines’ « listening
When we were new, fresh to this earth, all we could do was listen, soak in every nuance, and every word uttered in our presence. We listened, and it was enough.
Motherhood, as well as parenthood, is a journey, not meant to be traveled alone. It takes a village, a wisdom from generations passed to navigate the seasons that new life brings. It takes support from Mothers Fathers, sisters, brothers, friends. It takes the love of the collective for families to grow.
We've forgotten, and now some of us journey alone. Saddened by the lack of understanding shown, when understanding should inherently be the first thing we as parents feel towards one other, not harsh words and deaf ears.
I've always been eager to listen, hungry for spoken words. Constantly in search for reassurance in others. Finding a comfort in them that I could not seem to find in myself, no matter how desperately I searched.
Carrying life has a quieting way about it, a softening of the world around you, it swaddles you in warmth that can only radiate from within.
With you, my sweet, I looked inward, for the first time in my life I stopped and listened, I mean really listened. To myself, to my body, to my soul, I listened and found comfort in it. My fears were very real, but it was you, your steady heartbeat, your every movement, your very wave of existence that soothed my mind, and opened my heart to a love that at the time, was only a whisper.
When you came into this world, you came silently, searching for a breath that slowly found you, and took mine away. With your voice came a love overflowing with a peace so tangible everyone in the room cried.
With only the steady flow of our breath to comfort us, the silence that surrounded us in your first hours of life, was pure magic. It was in that moment I knew that the strength to listen to my instincts, to my gut, to that voice that told me everything would and will be ok, would forever be with me. A precious gift given to me by my first born, the one who so graciously made me a Mother.
Oh but life is hard sometimes, with it comes many voices, most not our own, and if you let them, they will try to and fill your head with doubt and with fear, robbing the very voice that resides within you.
Never let others be your sole guide, don't let what someone says take dominion over your thoughts.
Listen to your heart, to you gut, to your soul, to that inner voice that guides you, it will never fail you. Just as I will try, with all my might, with all my strength, and with all my soul, to never, ever, fail you.
To you, I will always listen.