Krystal Festerly
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Krystal Festerly
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Accepting The Things I Cannot Control
My Husbands Illness
Accepting The Things I Cannot Control
My Husbands Illness
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My Husbands Illness
Of Butterflies & Men
My Husbands Illness
Of Butterflies & Men
My Husbands Illness
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My Husbands Illness

 

LIFE IS BETTER WHEN SHARED

The Things I Wish To Remember

Yesterday is now added to an ever growing list of the most terrifying days ever. The hubs routine Angiogram ended up with complications, radiation is off the table for the time being and he has to have brain surgery, but that story is for another day. I went to a Coffee shop today to finally get some work done, and detox from this trying week. As soon as I sat down an older gentleman started talking to me, part of me didn't want to engage, but instead, I sat back smiled and listen to him as he spoke. After he got up 30 minutes later he looked at me and smiled, "it was so nice chatting with you...well really, it was so nice that you listened to me, no one ever listens to me", I smiled and replied, "of course, we all need to be heard", he thanked me again and went on his way. After he left, I popped my headphones in and began working, soon after my phone died, I needed some information that was on it, so I closed my laptop to run to my car and grab a plug; it was then that an elderly lady said, "all done with your work?" I smiled and told her not quite yet, my work is really never done haha. Then she and her husband who were in their late 80's started talking to me, about everything and nothing at all, motherhood, politics, grandchildren, children, my business, WW2, etc. She told me how she had been stuck in the house for quite some time with hip pain, so her husband decided to take her out, she joked "women have about 4,000 words they need to get out a day", I nodded in agreement while her husband laughed. We chatted for a good 45 minutes and then I realized it was time to pick up my daughter from pre-school. "It was such a pleasure speaking with you" I said, she looked at me and said, "thank you so much for speaking with us, no one talks anymore, everyone lets their differences divide them, people are just too busy to listen to each other, what you're doing is so important, and we wish you all the best." . We're all fighting a hard battle, but a listening ear no matter what you're going through is worth its weight in gold, and as I drove home, I suddenly realized, they had given me something too, an afternoon free from my own worries, they gave me peace.
One day they’ll be 13, 14, and 15😬... ~ The teenage years, they’re not all that bad right? ...right? ~ #JesusTakeTheWheel
I was free then, free to run, free to seek Joy, free to make more babies, free to love, free to laugh, free to leave, free to live. I journeyed through life the way that I thought I should, wholly and fully, finding happiness in the mundane, without care, without guilt, simply because the sun was shining. but I was free then. Often I find myself stuck standing behind glass, my words, my presence, my voice, all faded into the background, lost in plain sight; it fogs my view, making me feel small, trapped within the spaces between living and watching life pass me by. The world grows quiet... and the anger feels justified because of the enormity of what I’ve been handed, and the darkness will become a comfort if I let it. I touch the glass, in the hopes to be set free from the weight of this. but then I remember that I gave my fears to Him. and the fog on the glass fades, and my children love me, and I can feel the warmth of the grass, and my flowers still bloom, and I can still find the words, and I can still feel, and my husband still touches me when he is near. and so I smile, and the glass fades, because really, really I’m still free. #whenigetothinking
Maxine has been messing with my husband lately, and it’s been beyond entertaining. She's always been a jokester, case in point; we were about to get in the car to drop her sister off at school one day when Maxine yelled “Mommy! There’s a baby kitty!”. Not wanting to lock a kitten in the garage in 100 degree weather I started searching, Maxine keep shouting “look it’s wright der!! Wrrrrrright deeeerrr!!” Mind you she’s 2 at the time. Long story short fifteen minutes goes by... “Maxine, I’m sorry I just don’t..”, she starts to giggle, “it’s ok! I’dd just kidding.” What two year old does that?!? ~ So over the last 3 months Maxine has been making little cards for her friend, one day I came home and Nehemiah (my husband) asked me for the little girls address, so he could send them to her, because clearly she really likes and misses her. I asked him what the little girls name was, and he replied “Leele”, I looked at him with confusion because I had NO idea who he was talking about. “Maybe it’s a friend at school?” he said, I told him I had never heard of a Leele in her class. Maxine goes on to describe her in detail, so my husband calls the teacher and asks if he can get Leele’s address, the teaches says there’s no Leele in the class, but sends over the class picture so she can point her out. We ask Maxine to point her out and she replies, “nooooo she doesn’t go to my school anymore, she’s bigger”, we ask her if she goes to Ellys school and she replies “YES!”. We go through Ellys class roster, surprise surprise, there's no Leele in either kinder classes. This goes on for weeks, I finally tell Nehemiah that I’m pretty sure this “Leele” person is completely made up and she’s messing with us, he refuses to believe it, “she has been making her cards for months!! There’s no way she’s making it up, I’m going to find this kid”. We ask Elly our oldest if she thinks Leele is real, “Oh she’s real! Maxine said she was real”. ~ Two more weeks goes by with ”Leele this and Leele that”. Finally this morning I ask Maxine “Who is Leele?”, with a twinkle in her eye she replies “she’s my friend!”, “is she invisible?” I ask... ~ “Yes, she’s invisible” and skips away.😑#TeenyweenieMaxinie
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